Young Justice Randomness
by KalaKitsune
Summary: A Warped Mind (plus) An Unhealthy Love For The Batman (equals) That Awkward Moment At Work When People Stop And Stare At You, Deciding Whether Or Not They May Need To Contact A Supervisor Or Doctor. Disclaimer: I don't own it, even if I want it! No spoilers! -!Warning!- This is crack, with a bit of fluffy slash! Beta read by JacklesPenis!


Young Justice Randomness

-One Shot-

**Five Things Superboy Never Wanted To See:**

_(Ever)_

1) Superman and Batman's makeup 'talk' after a big argument.

_Does this mean he should call Batman 'mommy'?_

2) Alfred's Photo albums of the Justice League.

_Who knew the man's hobby would lie in scrapbooking?_

3) Wally's obscene collection of PlayBoy.

_Why would he need to look at magazines when he shares a room with Robin?_

4) Kaldur slipping in the shower.

_There are some things about your teammates that you wish you never knew…_

5) Miss. M's first attempt at Sheppard's Pie.

_She has possibly failed to understand the concept._

**Five Things Superboy Thanks His X-Ray Vision For:**

1) Discovering that Robin is a briefs boy

2) Robin's briefs have little bat symbols on them

3) Easy spying, once he relocated to the room next to Robins

4) Easy surveillance, to make sure that no one else is spying on his Robin

5) Peeping made easy, always knowing when Robin is getting ready for a shower or bed

**Five Things Superman Wants from Batman:**

_(That he will probably never receive)_

1) Apple Pie, like Martha used to make

2) A back rub

3) A smile

4) A pet name

5) Naked apron… Wait… What!? A man can dream!

**Robins Five Surefire Ways To Recognize If You Are An Imposter:**

_Continue Reading If You Are an IMPOSTER_

1) You are often told that you have misspelt your name…

2) You are overly friendly with people you normally don't get along with…

3) You ask where the ignition is on the Bat Mobile…

4) You cannot correctly offer any of your personal identification numbers when prompted…

5) You continued to read this even after it stated 'Continue Reading If You Are an IMPOSTER'…

**Ten Things You Will Never Hear The Batman Say:**

_(EVER)_

1) "Anyone want cookies? I just took them out of the oven!"

_Why: He isn't Alfred or Dick…_

2) "Batman in the hiz-ouse!"

_Why: He isn't the Flash…_

3) "Let's dance like it's the eighties all over again!"

_Why: He isn't Aquaman…_

4) "They were having a sale on tights down at Hero's-R-Us, and I just couldn't help myself!"

_Why: What self-respecting billionaire super hero shops at Hero's R-Us?_

5) "Let's cuddle!"

_Why: Dark brooding characters don't cuddle, and if they do it's not by choice._

6) "Did you see last night's episode of 'Gossip Girl'? That Blair is such a crazy bitch!"

_Why: He'd miss Gossip Girl when he watched Nikita._

7) "I'm thinking of redecorating the BatCave in earth tones."

_Why: It's the BatCave, and he isn't Dick…_

8) "This is Robin, Toy Wonder, my sidekick."

_Why: Cat Woman coined it, and he won't be the first to cave under peer-pressure!_

9) "KILL THEM ALL!"

_Why: The only thing keeping him from being a bad guy…_

10) "I'm sorry…"

_Why: If you think you heard it being mumbled you were mistaken! The Batman has nothing to apologize for, except for maybe that whole Jason Todd thing, which he still holds himself accountable for… although it was totally not his fault!_

**Wally's Five Tips at Getting the Girl From Out Of This World:**

_(In his dreams…)_

1) Constantly tell her how wonderful 'you' are

2) Always keep in her line of vision when there are other guys present

3) Hedge around the idea that you might just be her 'Mr. Right' even if you only care about being 'Mr. Right-Now'

4) Attempt to woo and wow her with tales of your heroic endeavors, ignoring the fact that she was there as well, and may have saved you a couple of times

5) Find a good wingman. Some bad wingmen include: Robin, girls love the mysterious little guy; Superboy, he's like a clone of Superman with the dark brooding air of Batman making him a girl magnet, therefore making you an effective wingman…; Speedy/Red Arrow/Roy, he will cock-block you on purpose just so he can laugh about it later!

~ FIN ~


End file.
